


Rabbit Food

by lacewood



Series: Lifeside [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-17
Updated: 2010-08-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 03:20:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacewood/pseuds/lacewood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo, Rukia, a pet shop and some... uncomfortable truths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rabbit Food

"Oi."

No answer.

"Oi."

_Still_ no answer.

Ichigo muttered under his breath, gave up, and stuck an elbow out to jab the girl beside him in the ribs.

"OI. Don't we have a Hollow to kill here?" he hissed at her.

No, it wasn't bad enough she'd dragged him across town on a Saturday morning for an "anticipated Hollow attack", or that they were on a nice busy street with maybe 60% chances of being seen together by someone from school, no.... of course not. To increase their visibility _and_ up the chances to 100%, Rukia had to park herself in front of a blasted pet shop, press her face to the glass and start making suspicious _cooing_ noises.

Irritated did not quite begin to cover Ichigo's current state.

"It shouldn't be here so soon," she unstuck her face from the glass long enough to mutter back.

"Then why did you drag me out here _now_?!" he demanded.

"In the event of unforeseen emergencies a shinigami should always respond to an alert as quickly as possible," she snapped. "Shush, you're scaring them."

Ichigo glared at the inoffensive rabbits in the cage before them. They went on eating carrot.

"What the hell's so great about them anyway..." he muttered.

Face to the glass, Rukia was cooing something about "white" and "pretty" and "soft", and "even cuter than the ones we used to try and catch, and bigger too", and "I wonder what they'd taste like with ketchup, we didn't have ketchup at Soul Society..."

Ichigo blinked.

"What did you just say?"

"Hm? I said I wondered what they'd taste like with ketchup..."

On careful examination, Ichigo thought, trying to squint at her face against the glass, she might actually be _drooling_.

Oh, this had to be a _joke_ right? She drew ugly bunnies (that were indistinguishable from everything else she drew, yeah, but still). She wanted Soul Candy dispensers with bunny heads. That was not the kind of attitude you took to animals you _drooled at_.

...

This was _Rukia_. Right, make no assumptions here.

He looked at the rabits. They stared back, white and innocent and utterly ignorant of their mortal peril.

He sighed, reached out and grabbed her by the collar of her dress. She failed to respond. He stood up and started walking.

"Hey! Unhand me, fool! What are you--"

"Those are _pets_, not _food_. You're supposed to _take good care of them_, not _eat them_. Look, I'll get you a burger or something if you're really that hungry," Ichigo, protector of the innocent, grumbled. "Stop doing that, it's creepy."

"I don't understand what you're talking about, that shop is full of animals, they are _clearly_ intended for consumption purposes!"

Oh yeah, Ichigo thought. What better way to spend his weekend than try to explain the concept of "pets" to Rukia, bloodthirsty shinigami extraordinaire?

Just then, the Hollow attacked.

And _about time_ too.

 

_end_


End file.
